Monday, February 27, 2012

RIP

     This past week has probably been one of the hardest weeks of my life.  My grandmother who I had spent a lot of time with not to mentioned lived with on and off past away, last Saturday night after a short battle with dementia.  It all started with a couple of phone calls which stated that she had collapsed while trying to eat dinner, in which I was not sure how to react, you see my family has a tendency of overreacting to just about every situation.  I was told it was not necessary for me to show up to the hospital as it looks like it was something simple and she would be back on her feet in no time, well something just did not seem right to me.  After a few minutes of being upset and contimplating making another phone call I start to realize that this was going to be it, I just had that gut feeling, and I was right.  I see the text message from dad respond back that "it may be a good idea" which was in response to my message "are you sure I do not need to go to the hospital tonight?  I rush to get ready and my girlfriend and I head off to the hospital not exactly knowing what to expect.
     As I walk into the hospital I see my dad coming in (since we got lost and headed in the complete opposite direction) and I pause for a minute to let him catch up.  He informs that they are taking her off the ventilator, so in my head I already am assuming the best I mean obviously if shes coming off the ventilator she must be breathing on her own and starting to come back to.  What I was not paying attention is everything else he is telling me, I have some sort of tunnel vision.  As we get closer and closer to ICU I start to see family members (cousins, aunts, uncles etc) and my head begins to race as to what is going on, its at this point that I realize that it is a lot more serious of a situation, and that is when all of the thoughts begin racing through my head.  As I walk into her room she is on a ventilator with all types of wires etc.  attached to her body and here is where I start to breakdown.  I absolutely  hate hospitals, every time I am there all I feel is death and it scares the hell out of me.  I walk over to the bed and tell her I love her and that I am here for her now, in my head I know its to late but I also know that she can hear me.  I say hello to all my family members and this is when I start to hear about what exactly happened, that she had been eating dinner and began to choke.  My grandfather had called 911 and by the time the paramedics showed up she had already been over 3 minutes without oxygen.  As I talk to family members my dad, uncles, and aunts are talking with the doctor, and make the decision to remove the breathing tube.  Again I start to think that this is going to be a good thing but I realize that at this point there is no coming back, she had been without oxygen for so long that any life, that was left would be a life of being in that hospital bed.  I realize that this is the best decision that can be made.  The doctors begin to make final arrangements, priests being called for last rights, talking to the family about things and so on.  I realize this is going to be the last time I see her alive.  As we wait for the priest we talk as a family we remember her life, we talk about all the good times, all the stories.  We say our final prayer for her and we leave the room, the doctors remove the tubes and we are admitted back into the room.
     While we are waiting outside my grandfather tells me he wants me by his side (you see I have always been his favorite grandson) obviously I agree even though I know this is going to be one of the hardest things I ever have to do, but its his request and I want to do it, so I am there from the minute we walk back into the room until the time I leave.  In all honesty I do not know how I held anything together.  All I know is I wanted to be strong for him, I did not want to make him upset.  After a few hours my aunt tells me and my cousins to head home reminding us that when our uncle was taken off the tubes he lived another 9 days, and to remember that our family has always been stubborn and fought all the way to the end.  As I say goodbye to everyone for the evening I am already planning on heading back first thing in the morning and being able to spend just a few more minutes with my grandmother, unfortunately I never got that chance.  At about 5:30am I get the phone call from my uncle that she has passed.  It was very odd that I had waken up about a minute or two before my phone rang, maybe it was her telling me she was going or that she had already left.  Knowing my grandmother she probably waited until everyone had left, from what I hear it was a fight for the last hour or two and she gave it everything she had.  Thankfully my grandfather was not there to see what had happened that last two hours, as strong as I saw him that day I do not know if he could have held it together.
     Monday through Wednesday were probably the longest days of my life.  Between wakes and the funeral, my body was physically and mentally gone, the last thing I cared about was training or eating right.  I tried but it just wasn't there I have not had the appetite or the motivation to get back on track.  It is slowly starting to come back, I forced myself to workout Saturday and it felt great, I am slowly getting back on track with my diet and I am starting to feel better each day.  I know my grandmother would not want me sulking or sitting here back tracking on what I believe in, or what I am working so hard for.  This family fights for everything and will always do that, we do not go away easily!  Although I have lost both of my grandmothers in the last year and a half, they have taught me to never give up and never give in, through all the hardship and pain there is pride in what we believe in.  Even though neither of them understood why I wanted to start bodybuilding or even really understand why I want to, I am going to dedicate the next year or so of training to their memory, I am going to fight for what I want and I am going to push myself to train as hard as I can to be where I wanna be the next time I step on stage.

Its time to get back to work, and show them that I have the same fight in me as they did in them!

RIP:
Grandma Griffin
Grandma Kroloweicz
and friend Jonathon Burzyinski, one of the hardest working, most dedicated people I have ever met.
   

Monday, February 13, 2012

NO EXCUSES

     Last week was such a long week!  Between training clients, working a full time job and making sure I got my own workouts in, it did not leave me much time to do much of anything else.  I am trying to get myself back into the habit of doing whatever it takes to get my workouts in, even if that means waking up at 5am which is what happened twice this past week.  I am by no means an AM person but I keep remembering that I have goals to reach!  So I set my alarm for 5am, set the alarm to be a song that motivates me, and low and behold I was up and at em and even got there early.  It was by no means easy and the first day I climbed back into bed and was ready to just pack it in and not but, but I jumped out got up and got my ASS out the door!  Its going to be ME vs. ME all the way through and nothing but a catastrophic circumstance is going to stop me!
     This leads me to all the excuses that are constantly being thrown around, and I want to share a story as well.  Early last week while I was on a treadmill I witnessed a couple walking arm and arm into the gym, I thought it was a little odd but did not think to much of it.  He walked in the locker room and she waited right outside the door for him.  When he came out of the locker room they went back to being in arm in arm, it wasn't until he walked her on to the treadmill two over from me that I realized she was blind.  I heard them talking and she was talking about how badly she wanted to get into better shape and that she was tired of the extra weight she had to carry.  I was caught a little off guard!  Not because she was blind, but because it was something that led me to think about all the excuses we make, hell even I make!  This was one of those moments that made me realize that I do not have a legitimate excuse EVER to not be there, to not put in the work, to not reach my goals.
     It also led me to thinking about the excuses we make each and everyday as to why we can not exercise and I thought of a few ways to nix those excuses in the butt every day, week, and month.

  1.  I do not have the time:
  • Wake up earlier and get the workout in before the day starts and life throws you those curve balls!
  • Pick up a set of dumbbells, resistance bands, and a DVD with a workout you enjoy that you can do at your own home.
  • Do not want to spend the money on equipment?  Why not use household items?  If you are just starting to get into shape you can use anything that adds resistance to many things you do on an everyday basis.  Think of a squat that is done in a gym, this can be replicated just by holding on to 2, 1 gallon milk jugs and sitting down and getting up off a chair.
  • Cut out the amount of things you have DVR'd (I am just as guilty) and take the time you would use to watch these shows and get a good workout in.  If it is really that big of a deal, get active during commercials.
     2.  I do not have the energy:
  • Wake up earlier and get the workout in before the day starts and life throws you those curve balls!
  • Getting a good workout in will give you a boost of energy to get your morning off on the right foot.  If you get your workout in later during the day you will get that blood flowing which will make you feel better and give you that feeling of an energy boost.
     3.  I do not know what I am doing:
  • Ask the gym if they offer one complimentary session, most gyms do and you can get a small idea of things that you could be doing.
  • Hire a personal trainer, they can teach you proper technique and give you a better understanding of what machines or exercises will aid you in reaching the results you want to reach.
  • Pick up a book or magazine.  While this isn't the method I would personally prefer as most people do better in a setting where they are actually being showed the exercise right before they are doing, there are tons of resources that will help you.  First find the exercises or workouts that you wanna try, try them while your reading the article, if you can not visualize or complete the exercise, check out YouTube, just type in the exercise and tons of videos will pop up to show you exactly how to do it.
    Those 3 happen to be the ones I hear the most, and I know there are hundreds more!  But remember a workout does not have to happen in a gym, or a class.  Workouts can be done at home using household items that can add that resistance to make your workout just a little harder!  So get up get moving, and starting heading down the path towards reaching your goals!

Feel free to comment or add your own, if you do please make sure to add ways to break these excuses!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Last Week Was a LONG One!




     Last week was such a long week, I came down with a cold and just could not shake it.  I tried to push through a gym session on Thursday and it was AWFUL.  I had ZERO strength, I felt completely and utterly useless.  So when I woke up feeling the same on Friday I decided it was time to take a few days off.  The good news though is I am still down this week, and I do not believe it was the sickness since I still ate all of my meals properly, had the right amount of water and pushed forward on every other aspect of my training regimen minus the gym.

     I am back this week and feel great so far, have a little bit of a congestion problem, but that is not going to stop me.  I am shooting to be down to 180-190 by June so that leaves me a little under 4 months to drop 28-38lbs and if I am in the 1.5lbs a week range I will hit 24lbs which will put me close!

     Happy training, and give it your all this week!